Counsel
by I Will Achieve Vikturi
Summary: Yuri Katsuki is admitted into a mental hospital for his panic disorder. There, he meets his therapist, Dr. Viktor Nikiforov. Along the road to recovery, he will meet new people, make friends, learn to handle his anxiety, and fall in love.
1. Chapter 1

**A little note before you read: Hospital emergency codes vary depending on which country you live in. Therefore, here are the ones I will be using and what they mean in this case, and what region it is used in this context in.**

 _ **Blue: Medical emergency (Australia)**_

 _ **White: Violence/Aggression (Canada)**_

 _ **Rapid Response Team: Medical team needed at bedside (United States)**_

 **There will probably be more coming, depending on where this story leads me. I will update this section as they appear.**

* * *

"Please don't leave me here," Yuri pled with his mother, who only gave him a small, heartbroken smile in return. Her heart ached for her son, for how pitiful he looked in this new, unfamiliar place. It was hard for her to leave him all alone, especially after twenty-three years with him to greet every day. Twenty-three years with the skater with the world's biggest glass heart, so easily shattered in the face of defeat, so easy to excite. Even now as he stood there she felt she could reach out and touch the cracks in his heart, feel the individual fissures that formed with each of her words and his own.

"Don't worry, dear, you'll have fun," the small woman reassured, pulling her son into a light, chaste embrace. "You'll get to meet new people here, the counselors will help you deal with your anxiety, and soon enough you won't want to leave. You'll see." The words were more for herself than they were for Yuri, but he accepted them all the same. He pulled back only once, feeling the familiar sting of tears building up behind his eyes.

"Promise me you'll visit?" he asked dejectedly upon seeing this was not a joke or a bad dream. This was about as real as it could get, and he hated it.

"Of course I will."

Yuri's chocolate eyes watered as he moved in for another, final hug, never wanting to let go until he could leave this new, terrifying place. He just wanted to go home, soak in the hot springs, eat hot katsudon...anything but this. Why did he even need to be in a mental hospital? He was fine. Just a little anxiety was all that was wrong with him. He wasn't the only one who had this problem, so why did those people get to enjoy their lives while he had to be sent here into this all-too-white building full of strangers that could attack him at any time? That was always how it was for the new guy, adult or otherwise.

Yuri was pried away from his mother when a stranger in a white lab coat approached the pair, prompting him to hesitantly look up at the kind, middle-aged face. _Too many sharp angles_ was the first thing that came to mind when he eyed the contours of his jawline, the way his cheekbones jutted out just enough, his chin a bit sharper than the average, eyebrows curved in an almost angry gesture. His sleek brunette hair was tied in a ponytail and draped over his shoulder, sort of like a dragon's tail. Couldn't they have sent someone with a softer face to greet them?

Hiroko Katsuki gave her son a pat on the shoulder upon feeling him shrink back into her silently. "He won't hurt you, dear, don't worry. He's just going to show you to your room, that's all." She handed him off to the man in white, who extended his hand in greeting and offered him a surprisingly genuine smile.

"You don't have to fear me, Yuri. My name is Celestino. It's nice to have you here with us today."

The raven-haired man shakily took the elder's hand without saying a word. His heart was hammering so fast and so hard that he was sure Celestino could feel it through his hand. He knew his anxiety would get the better of him soon and hoped he could find a way out of sight soon. Everything around him slowly blurred into a sloppy mess of colors and his eyes surely glazed over as though he were about to pass out entirely. It was hard to stay standing, hard to even look at the man who had his hand in a steel grip. In reality the grip was quite gentle, but his mind had a tendency to exaggerate.

Hiroko whispered something into Celestino's ear after one quick glance at him, and Yuri's prayers were finally answered as his hand was let go of and the man declared "Why don't we show you to your room then?" Yuri's eyes darted back to his mother, who was already starting to take her leave as if she wanted to get away as soon as possible, away from her disgusting son. He vaguely heard her say something about seeing him next week, but he was not in the mindset to pay attention.

"I want to go home," he heard himself complain, not going unnoticed by the other who flashed him a persuasive grin.

"You'll have fun here, trust me. This may not be home, but we want to make it feel like it is to you, so if there's anything you need just tell us and we'll see to it that you're taken care of, okay?"

Celestino beckoned him along and he hesitantly followed, and as he did so he could feel the floor caving under his weight, waiting to swallow him whole. The hallway stretched on forever, and with no end in sight he silently wondered if this was the end for him, facing death in a whitewashed palace of strange faces and his own rising panic threatening to strangle him.

In his stupor he had managed to ram right into his guide and fall against the wall in a weak attempt to catch himself. Celestino grabbed his wrist before he could collapse to the floor.

"Are you feeling alright? You look a bit pale."

Yuri nodded a little too quickly and straightened himself up as if to prove a point. The door they stood in front of was plain white, just like the rest of this God-forsaken place, with the exception of a brown plaque rimmed in gold and bearing the name "Katsuki" in large gold print. It was a little unsettling that they had already had a nameplate made for his door; how long had they known he was coming? Or better yet, how long had he not known about this?

"Well then," he continued as if nothing had happened, "this is going to be your room. If you'll step inside..." He pushed open the door to reveal a large room with pale beige walls and a hardwood floor, a nice change from the white of the rest of the building. A bed was made by the great window that filtered in sunlight through the glass, rose-print cream curtains drawn back and resting on hooks on either side. The bed itself was freshly made with pristine white sheets, two fluffed-up pillows, and a thick brown blanket spread over the top. A nightstand bearing a lamp and an alarm clock sat at its side, and a wardrobe by the door. A small bathroom complete with a bath was set next to said wardrobe. The overall sight of the room settled his nerves just a little.

"Once you get accustomed to your new room, please join the rest of us just down the hall in the main room." Celestino shut the door behind him as he exited, leaving poor Yuri to himself to wander and take in the sight. He could feel the anxiety building up in his chest again, clawing its way up his throat and threatening to spill forth. The room was too different from his own; he just wanted to go home!

He forced himself to look away from the window through which he had been staring to the outside world, the busy setting on the other side of the glass not doing anything to help him. He searched through the wardrobe at the selection of clothing he was given, all of which a solid pale color. He sighed and selected a cyan sweater and black sweatpants, padding into the small bathroom (after asking for the door to be unlocked, of course). A hot shower should help, he concluded as the steaming spray of water shot from the shower head. He stripped and stepped in, letting the hot liquid run down his body and relax his tensed muscles.

But this was too different from the onsen; the natural landscape of the hot springs and soft colors as well as the steam rising from the hot water always soothed him when even skating could not. Now there was just a cramped bathroom with a small bath and harsh white reflecting off every surface. There was nothing natural about this. It was just too polygonal.

He couldn't stay in the shower under the now-scalding liquid. He had to get out of there, and _fast_. He could feel the panic building in his system and knew that the last thing he wanted was for a stranger to have to help him through an anxiety attack while he was soaked and naked.

The last thing he wanted was for a stranger to help him through an anxiety attack at all, actually.

He all but slammed the handle down to shut the water off and tripped over his own feet to get himself out of that cramped space, disregarding the forgotten clothing. He collapsed on the soft mattress thereafter and barely concealed a scream into the pillow. His hands scrabbled for purchase against something, anything, that would ground him. All they could find was his hair, which was harshly pulled at as small sobs and whimpers wracked his body. The familiar nausea bubbled within his stomach and spilled into the nearest trash can, him having thankfully enough wherewithal to grab hold of it before the vomit reached his throat.

His breath stuttered as the last of it found its way out, either a sigh of relief or the preparation of a round of dry heaving. The latter was correct.

Someone was coming. Footsteps growing louder and closer. Stopping right outside his door. He couldn't let anyone see him like this!

But there was nothing he could do as a soft knock sounded. He stopped breathing for a full second, a feat on its own, as Celestino's voice rang through the barrier.

"Yuri, it's been an hour. When will you come and join us?"

Celestino swore he heard a tiny whimper on the other side, followed by the sound of retching that he knew he heard. He quickly rushed in without a second to think about what he was doing, and found Yuri curled up on the bed, stark-naked, dripping wet, turned away from him and shaking. Hoarse coughs racked his body as more dry heaving ensued, and at that moment Celestino knew exactly what was going on. Yuri clutched onto his hair and pulled roughly, leaving a few strands abandoned on the mattress. Just as much so as he felt in that moment.

Celestino knew just from looking at him that someone with his physical appearance would be of no help. He cursed himself inwardly for that and rushed out for help. He had not often dealt with panic attacks, and this one was among the worst he had seen thus far. He raced through the halls, desperate to get to his target before Yuri hurt himself in some way.

He reached his destination in record time and the look on his face said everything to the other, who silently nodded and rushed to the Katsuki room after him.

Yuri's blurred vision was blinded completely by a bright mop of silver less than a minute after Celestino had left his room. He gasped as the stranger leaned so close to his face, in his personal space, and struggled to back away from them. Of course that didn't work since it only brought him closer to the person who he discerned was male. The stranger's scent flooded his senses, a sweet strawberry aroma that may as well have had a color because it was so strong. At the moment, there were no words, only the comforting presence of the stranger that lulled his breathing back to a normal pace steadily. The stranger stroked his back almost lovingly as the last of the attack passed. Yuri glanced up at him with bloodshot, watery eyes, a few stray tears still flooding his cheeks. He gripped the man's violet shirt in tight fists still, belatedly aware of the wet spot front and center on his chest.

"Are you alright?" His thick accent caressed his ears gently and held his heart tightly. He somehow forced his head to nod once, earning a gentle smile. "Good. Do you know what caused it?"

"I don't want to be here," Yuri whined in answer. He curled in on himself again. "I want to go home!" Another round of sobbing began as he desperately turned away from him, arms secure around his knees, lying on the bed with his back to the stranger, who clicked his tongue in thought and slight frustration.

"It's okay, Yuri. We're here for you. We can be your family here," he tried, a hand finding its way to his shoulder. Yuri tensed under his touch and at his words before shaking his head vigorously.

"I want to go home..."

He didn't know if he should have been grateful or concerned that Yuri did not have the energy to go into another panic attack. It seemed his body was fighting to do so, but it just couldn't, so instead he was just left to cry somewhat silently.

"You're going to be okay, Yuri. I'm here for you. I always will be."

It took several heartbeats, too many, but he finally earned a tiny nod from Yuri, and he turned his head towards him.

"Really?"

"Of course." he affirmed. But Yuri was still skeptical.

"...Really?"

"Yes."

Yuri sniffled silently, his brain still comprehending just what this person was saying, but then once the words finally sank in he gave a halfhearted smile. It's not that he didn't appreciate it, but he was just not in the mindset to do so.

"If you want, I'll leave you alone," the stranger offered, and Yuri nodded gratefully.

"Thank you."

...

His heart could have stopped altogether when he reached the main room where everyone was gathered and was greeted by a young man bearing silver hair over his left eye. His deep azure eyes were so soft and kind, creamy pale skin to accent them further. But Yuri could have had another attack right then and there at the sight of him. Standing right in front of him was the same man who had just helped him through his panic while he was helpless in his room. Said man had been so patient and caring, and in return for that Yuri could only give him unbridled terror.

"Hello, Yuri. Are you feeling better now?"

"W-What?" he stuttered, completely confused; was this person another patient? Was he a staff member? Who was he? And why was he talking to him of all people?

The person extended his hand towards the small circle of patients, all varying in age, some chatting away and others sitting silently. A few of them just stared.

"Come and sit down; we're all waiting for you."

"Nani? Naze?" Yuri slipped into his native tongue for a split second, realizing it immediately after. Thankfully, the man seemed not to notice lest he die of embarrassment at his own failure to speak English. He gently reached for Yuri's hand and took it in his own, guiding him kindly to his spot. Yuri followed only because he couldn't separate his arm from the rest of his body on command. The man and he both sat down in the circle, the former at the head. This was not a good sign.

"Now that we're all here, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Viktor Nikiforov, your counselor here. I would love to know each and every one of you, so why don't we all introduce ourselves and tell everyone why you are here. We'll start with you." He pointed to the person to his left, who started with "Yeah, hi. I'm Jean-Jacques Leroy, and people say I'm a narcissist, whatever that means."

It seemed that was all he really wanted to say, because his mouth was tightly shut after that. Viktor nodded approvingly, as if grateful he had said that much without bragging about himself, and then moved on with a gesture towards some blond kid, hair covering his right eye similar to how Viktor's hair covered his left. He seemed not to have noticed at first, lost in his own world, until someone next to him, a silent boy of layered black hair and stoic face, lightly elbowed him.

"Hah? Oh, right. I'm Yuri, and my grandpa says I have anger issues." He paused, shifting in his spot on the floor, before adding "Don't think for a second I have problems, got it? I'm perfectly normal!"

"Alright then, Yuri. How about the next one?"

The black-haired boy just shook his head and made some gesture with his hands that nobody could understand. Yuri-the first one-stared in silent adoration as Viktor seemed to understand what he was signaling.

"This is Otabek Altin," he started, focusing. "He is selectively mute, meaning he cannot speak in stressful environments."

Otabek nodded and stared down at his hands, looking stoic as ever but Yuri could see the regret in his eyes, even downturned as he was.

There were a few more after that: a Thai boy named Phichit with ADHD, a Russian redhead named Mila who apparently had an issue of clinginess, and some others who Yuri sort of drowned out. He was ready to turn into his own head and abandon the real world when he felt a harsh elbow to his side.

"Huh?" Yuri squeaked, snapping back to attention. He didn't see who hit him, but he had a feeling from intuition that it was the Russian Yuri.

"I asked if you could introduce yourself," Viktor repeated, eyes on him expectantly. But he didn't want to go. He never wanted to go. But the persistence of the one who called himself Viktor somehow prompted his voice to return to him after the moment of panic.

"I-I'm Yuri Katsuki...and...and I have an anxiety d-disorder. O-Or more like a...a panic disorder. I overthink things...a lot...and one thing leads to another and I panic." He rushed the last part and fell silent after that, wanting nothing more than the safety of his room. Even if that room were only slightly less whitewashed than the rest of the building, he would at least be alone.

"Hi, Yuri!" the Thai boy from earlier yelled across the circle, startling Yuri. He slapped his hand over his chest as his heart raced; yes, he did overthink things. He also overreacted.

"Phichit, it's not polite to yell," Viktor lightly scolded, as if talking to a child. Then, his attention back to Yuri, "Are you feeling alright?"

He may have nodded a little too quickly, because Viktor just shook his head in disagreement. But he did not dwell on the topic, offering to say instead "It was great to meet all of you, although with two Yuris it might get a little bit confusing. How about we call you...let's see...how about Yurio?" he pointed to the blond teen, who scoffed not-too-subtly, a little red in the face.

"That's not my name!"

Yuri was afraid of the blond's anger, but he was also glad that it was him who had gotten the nickname rather than himself. He did not want a name other than his own; it would just confuse him.

Viktor seemed proud of the new name and went on with it, declaring "Don't be mad, Yurio, it's a cute name!"

This got Yuri to smile a little, despite himself.

"Hey! What are you smiling at, asshole?" Yurio's harsh, grating tone carried across the room and slapped him in the face. Yuri promptly shrank in on himself, but not soon enough to avoid the other's fist in the jaw. He fell backwards, hitting the floor and having the air forced from his lungs as Yurio pounced like the tiger he was, everyone else watching in either awe or amusement or fear. Viktor, seeing all this happening, stepped in and pried the livid teen off of Yuri.

"Yurio, is that any way to act?" he chastised, an accusing finger pointed in his direction as he knelt down in front of him, who was sitting cross-legged and aloof. "Now apologize to Yuri and let's put this behind us, hm?"

"I'm not apologizing to that shithead," he declared proudly, arms folded over his chest. Viktor hummed in disappointment.

"Come on, that's what this place is for. We're here to make friends and get along."

"Whatever." He got up and stalked away from the two idiots, namely the raven who stared with wide, watery eyes at the retreating body. Yuri looked hopelessly at the silver-haired man next to him, who could see the fear in his countenance and therefore drew him into a tight embrace.

"It's okay, Yuri, it's over now. He won't bother you anymore," he soothed, feeling the smaller one shiver slightly in his arms. Yuri shook his head in disagreement.

"Vikutoru, I'm not supposed to be here," he sobbed softly, then felt his face smush into Viktor's shoulder as the hug tightened.

"That's not true. You have every right to be here, just like all of us."

But Yuri was not having it. He would not stay in the same room as that other boy. Voice muffled by the shoulder covering it, he mumbled "I want...to go back to my room."

"Are you sure you don't want to try making any friends?"

Yuri nodded twice, and Viktor released him from the embrace.

"Alright. Go and get some rest. I will come get you in a few hours for dinner, okay?"

"...Okay," he hesitated, not wanting to disappoint Viktor any more but also not wanting to be around anyone for dinner. He stood slowly and walked out of the room, not sparing a glance back at the older man for fear of meeting a sad face. Viktor should not be sad; he should be happy that Yuri was leaving, that he was no longer embarrassing him or himself in front of everyone else. That he was no longer going to get in any fights for the rest of the day.

In his room, he went immediately to the mirror in his small bathroom to check his face for any damage. Sure enough, there was a large, purpling bruise on his jaw, and the start of a black left eye from one of the other various lesser blows inflicted on him in the struggle. He winced as he brought his fingers up to gingerly touch it, then opted to splash some cold water on his face to ease the pain a little bit. Curling up under the soft chestnut blanket, he dozed off, forgetting about the pain of the world (and his face) in favor of his anxiety-free dreams.

...

After giving a stern talking to to Yurio, Viktor was satisfied to let the matter rest. As much as he also wanted Yuri in on the conversation, he had promised him the few hours respite in his room without distraction, so he had to simply settle the issue with Yurio alone and hope with everything he had that the blond boy would heed his words. It was not likely, he knew, and that was why Yurio was here in the first place, but he knew from years of experience that eventually there would be a breakthrough. And he could not wait for that revelation.

Yuri was quite an enigma, to say the least. A small man with a panic disorder, he could make for the best friend or worst enemy. He hoped to bring the former out of him. He wondered if that could be achieved by letting him stay in his room for such a long time. It was not healthy to be so antisocial, but with Yuri, would it be different? Would this sort of time away from everyone be a benefit?

This was a question Viktor asked himself regarding every patient. He always tried to consider the possibilities, based on the little nuggets of information and personality he could get from their interactions. In Yuri's case, he decided in the end that a little time away from people would do him some good, but eventually he had to start socializing. He could tell that if it were up to the boy, he would stay holed up in his room until it was time to go home. And Viktor couldn't have that.

But for the time being, he just had to be patient. And breathe.

He still had other patients to take care of.

...

It was actually Celestino who came to check up on Yuri. He learned by then that his snakelike appearance does nothing to help his nerves, but if Viktor was not going to get him out of his room then he would. Stopping in front of the Katsuki-nameplated door, he brought his hand up and gently rapped against the wood three times, hoping to get a response other than dry heaving like the last time. This time, he was given a groggy groan and a shift of sheets.

"Yuri, rise and shine! It's time for dinner." Celestino called through the barrier. It took a moment, but Yuri eventually seemed to process the information and called back "One moment." Then there was another, louder shift of the blankets, followed by footsteps. Then everything went quiet for a moment before the door opened to reveal a slightly-disheveled Yuri. His clothes were wrinkled, his hair still mussed up from sleep, he stood expectantly in front of the dragon of a doctor. Celestino gave him a once over and noticed with shock the bruises on his face.

"Whoa, did you hit your face on something?" he asked, genuinely concerned despite his choice of words, and moved to lightly touch his face. Yuri, seeing the hand approach, shied away from the contact.

"I'm fine," he responded curtly to the man, who withdrew with an almost hurt expression.

"If you say so." No, he wasn't at all convinced, but he would not press him for details at the moment. He was sure Yuri was hungry and refused to keep the patient from having his dinner. "This way is the cafeteria."

"C-Cafeteria?" Yuri stuttered, feet firmly planting themselves in the floor at the doorway. "I thought I was eating alone..."

"Um...no, everyone eats together." Confused, Celestino grabbed the other's hand and tried to pull him along, but Yuri was adamant about staying in place.

"I-I can't go," he protested weakly, looking to his feet in shame. "I'm gonna have another panic attack, I just know it..."

"You don't know that until it happens. And we're here to help you with your anxiety. Will you trust me? Will you trust Viktor?" Celestino grabbed Yuri's small hands in his large ones, holding them tight so Yuri knew he was serious. At the mention of his counselor's name, Yuri perked up slightly; he loathed the idea of sitting in a small room crowded with so many other people (about a hundred or so to be exact), but he was a little more willing to go if it meant he would be close to Viktor.

It was the thought of Viktor that made him decide what he was going to do, as well as the deep rumbling of his stomach crying to be filled. He nodded and pulled his hands away, earning a genuinely happy smile from the older dragon-snake-man. Hand on his back to lead him along, Celestino gently ushered him through the doorway, finally on their way to dinner.

...

There were actually far more people than he had originally anticipated.

Yuri looked around, eyes wide, pulse gaining speed as he saw at least one-hundred fifty patients all chatting, eating, just being loud in general, in such a relatively small space. The cafeteria itself housed a kitchen area in the back, four large, whitewashed walls, and many circular tables with around ten or so seats each. Just enough for everyone and the staff. His head sank a little lower on his shoulders, until they touched his ears, as if he could reason with himself that if he shrank down small enough nobody would be able to see him, or at least wouldn't take any notice of the shy boy.

However, there were three people who looked over at him as he entered. There was Viktor Nikiforov, of course. Then there was Phichit, that boy who had nearly killed him earlier unintentionally with his energy, and then there was Yurio, the one who nearly killed him earlier intentionally with his fists. The green-eyed kid mentioned last just scowled at him and went back to his food. Phichit excitedly waved to him, calling his name. Viktor stood from the table and walked over to him, his strides long and elegant. His face reflected the joy he felt in that moment upon seeing the face of the young man.

"Yuri, there you are! I thought you'd stay in your room for..." He let the last part die on the tip of his tongue as he took in the sight of the bruises on his otherwise-perfect face. Just as Celestino had done, Viktor lightly touched his cheek, but this time Yuri did not shy away from the contact. He did not ask what happened to him, for he already had a pretty good idea of what transpired, being there to witness it. Yuri shifted his weight nervously from one foot to the other, unsure what to do. Viktor, after an endless moment of studying, let his hands drop with a disappointed shake of his head, before flashing his smile again and taking Yuri's hand in his own. Not for the first time that day, Yuri noted how soft his skin was.

"Come, this way. I saved a seat for you over here. I think a little conversation is overdue."

"A conversation?" Yuri squeaked. He could feel his anxiety kicking in again, his throat drying and refusing to let voice any more words. His breath came a little quicker. He felt like a small child again, huddling nervously close to Viktor. Viktor felt the small hand in his own tighten its grip and saw Yuri start to move in closer as they drew nearer to the small gathering.

"There's nothing to worry about, Yuri. It's only us. Just pretend there is nobody else in the room, okay?"

But that was a little hard to accomplish when the other two aforementioned patients stared at him as he made his hesitant approach. The noise around him now seemed deafening to his sensitive ears. It took everything he had to not clamp his hands over them and run away. There was an almost imperceptible tremble in his body, one that went unnoticed by his leader.

He felt his knees begin to give way underneath him, his steps faltering more and more frequently with each hesitant stride he made. Sitting down at the table did not help anything, either, as all that did was bring him closer to those lethal stares. But he did so in response to Viktor's encouragement and the hand on his shoulder.

"Alright, now that we're all here..." Viktor started the "conversation", although to Yuri it felt like it would be more like an intervention than anything. "We can finally discuss the problems we are facing. Yuri, would you like to start for us?"

But Yuri violently shook his head negative, holding his arms and shrinking in on himself. Yurio scrutinized him harshly, eyes narrowing, while Phichit seemed unable to sit still, rocking back and forth in his seat while his food remained untouched. Looking at the plate, Yuri realized in the back of his mind just how hungry he was. But he couldn't let his guard down around these strangers, or at all for that matter. He couldn't eat.

"Very well. I will start us off." Viktor gestured to Phichit first. "Phichit, your rather...excitable nature has nearly caused Yuri a panic attack back in the circle. Not everyone is as energetic as you, and you need to learn self control. Can you do that?"

Phichit nodded, a little less excited than when he came in.

"Good. As for you, Yurio..." He turned his attention over to the Russian tiger. "You are here because you have an anger disorder and must work it out. Assaulting Yuri does not help with that. Now I want a full apology from you to him."

"Fuck that! Why should I apologize to that shithead?" Yurio pointed an accusing finger at Yuri, who was trying to hide behind Viktor again. "Why should I say sorry to him? He's the one who was making fun of me!"

"Yurio-"

"And stop calling me that dumbass name! My name is Yuri!" He then stood harshly from his seat and carelessly knocked over Yuri's seat on his way out. Viktor's voice hardly left his mouth before the cafeteria doors were slammed shut. Viktor sadly shook his head.

"So much for that... Are you two alright?"

Phichit nodded enthusiastically, as if it would prove a point that he was fine if he seemed much more so than he really was, while Yuri looked wide-eyed at Viktor. The question went unheard by him. Still in shock, his breath hitched as he curled up as tightly as he could into a ball on the floor where he was thrown. The curious looks cast his way did nothing to help, but only made him start to hyperventilate, eyes unfocused and spilling tears onto the cold tile floor.

Viktor knew right away that Yuri was going into a panic attack and mentally cursed himself for getting him into this situation. He quickly turned to Phichit. "Leave us for now," he ordered.

"Okay, see ya later Yuri!" Phichit bellowed and took off to find his friends. Viktor cringed at the volume, but chose to save the issue for later since at the moment there were more pressing matters. Such as making sure Yuri didn't pass out.

"Yuri, can you hear me?" he tried to reach him through the haze that surrounded Yuri's mind. Yuri didn't answer, save for his breath hitching more frequently and a scared, desperate look on his features. Viktor was momentarily confused by the sudden change, until his questions were answered when Yuri began heaving. Vomit painted the floor between them, leaving Yuri in pained tears at the forcefulness. He gasped and shuddered, suddenly cold amidst his panic.

Viktor noticed the shivering and, having nothing else available for him to use, removed his own coat and draped it over Yuri's curled body. Another staff member had seen Yuri panicking and had taken the liberty of bringing a wheelchair over to them. Viktor thanked him and turned Yuri over into a position where he could lift him into the chair. He would leave someone else to clean up the mess later. For the time being, he had to worry about his patient, who was now bent double and holding his knees securely. His trembling frame, raspy respiration, and overall state in general did not ease Viktor's worries in the slightest as he quickly transported him through the hospital to his room.

The door flew open and Viktor hurried inside with Yuri in tow. He made quick work of moving the smaller man onto the mattress. Yuri seemed to notice the change from the cafeteria floor to his bed, because he scrambled for the blanket, trying to find the warmth to no avail. He whimpered as he continued scrabbling for it with uncooperative hands, until Viktor caught on.

"Here, let me help you." He grabbed the sheet and gently spread it over Yuri. The latter greedily grabbed it and wrapped it firmly around himself, effectively hiding himself from his therapist. Viktor slowly lifted the blanket just enough to uncover his face and cooed "There. That's better."

Yuri's words caught in his throat, unable to produce any more speech than a strangled cry. Viktor, knowing he couldn't help get Yuri's breathing back under control in the curled position he was in, worked with deft hands to roll him onto his back and coax his body into spreading out.

Yuri couldn't tell what was going on. He felt himself being flipped over, then felt hands gently massaging his muscles loose so he had no choice but to open up and lie flat on the bed. And then he felt something settle over his nose and mouth as he continued gasping for air. All he could hear was his own shallow breathing and some strange crinkling sound. Now he could only feel one hand, softly stroking his hair, alternating between that and rubbing the sweet spot behind his ear. It was unsettling how the hand knew where to go or how to help, but its gentleness was also quite calming. The crinkling sound lessened as his breath slowed and the attack lifted.

Then, the crinkling stopped. The thing over his face was removed, and when he opened his eyes he saw Viktor sitting with him. He held a small paper bag and wore a relieved smile. His other hand was still stroking his hair.

"Welcome back," whispered his doctor.

"V-V...Viktor, wh...where...?"

Viktor silenced him with a finger to his lips. "There, there, Yuri. You've had a rough day today. Let's just take some deep breaths and relax, okay?" He demonstrated and waited expectantly for Yuri to do the same. Yuri followed his lead. In through the nose, hold for four seconds, out through the mouth. He did this a few more times until his body relaxed into the bed.

"There we go. Better?"

"Y-Yes... I think." He took a few experimental breaths to make sure his lungs were still working and saw that yes, he could breathe. He would survive another day. "Th-Thank you, Viktor."

"Of course, Yuri. That's what I'm here for."

Yuri scooched closer to the man and wrapped his arms around him, allowing himself this moment more of weakness. He breathed in the strawberry scent and let it ground him. He felt his hold slipping with each breath and realized belatedly that he was falling asleep. Viktor laid him back down onto the pillows and covered him up to his chin in the earlier-discarded blanket. With a final pat on the head, he left Yuri in peace.

...

Viktor sat in his small office after his confrontation with Yurio. He had no idea how he was going to get through to the boy that his behavior was unacceptable. He seemed to only hear every other word he said.

Then there was Phichit, whose ADHD kept him bouncing off the walls and causing Yuri constant panic. That one probably only heard every tenth word.

And lastly there was Yuri, the one he paid most attentively to. His mind always seems in the wrong place, and as a result he often withdraws himself from the world and into his own mind. He hears every word Viktor says and twists it into something far worse, and that, Viktor discovered, is one of the main sources of his panic attacks. He needed to find some way to help him.

He pulled up the chart that contained all of Yuri's information on his computer and read through the notes left by the others designated to Yuri. He pursed his lips as he saw that the notes left were not at all good.

 **Patient Name: Yuri Katsuki**

 **Date of Birth: November 29, 1993**

 **Age: 23**

 **Final Diagnosis: Anxiety, Panic Disorder**

 **Therapist: Dr. Viktor Nikiforov**

 **Counselor: Dr. Celestino Cialdini**

 **Doctor's Notes: _Patient Yuri Katsuki was admitted April 24, 2016. He has shown signs of panic disorder and treatment plans are currently in development. Ever since arriving, Katsuki has had a total of two panic attacks, two of which were eased by his current therapist, Dr. Viktor Nikiforov. Katsuki has exhibited a strong desire to be isolated, and prefers not socializing with the other patients or doctors, except Dr. Nikiforov._**

 ** _Katsuki tends to lose concentration when in stressful situations, often losing himself in his own world._**

 ** _Common symptoms of Katsuki's panic attacks include: Shortness of breath/hyperventilation, racing heartbeat, hypertension, nausea, vomiting, shaking, muscle tension, inability to speak._**

Viktor shook his head as he finished reading the report. He found himself worrying over Yuri's wellbeing in a way he had never worried over any other patient. But then he remembered it had only been one day. It would take a miracle for Yuri to recover that quickly.

So for the moment, he would rest. He had his first official meeting with Yuri scheduled for tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

Morning came faster than Yuri would have liked.

He was woken up rather roughly by one of the staff, who seemed to think it was fine to shine a flashlight in through the tiny plexiglass window on his door and shout "Time to get up! You must be in the cafeteria for breakfast in half an hour!" This rude awakening was what initially set Yuri in a bad mood for the morning. That and the thought of sitting in a crowded room with a bunch of people he didn't know. He didn't want to go out there. Doing so meant having a panic attack and further embarrassing himself.

He completely ignored the staff and rolled over, not mentally strong enough to get up and face the world. He pulled up the blanket to his shoulder and curled up in a loose spiral. While he was in his room, he was safe. He was safe and secure and no one could hurt him. Out there he ran the risk of running into Yurio. And running into Yurio was never good.

About fifteen minutes later, that same staff member came around again and looked in to see Yuri still lying there. This time he knocked roughly on the door and called "Breakfast is in fifteen minutes! Get up!"

Yuri groaned, or at least made a sound similar to a groan, and curled tighter. He could not get out of bed and face the world. He could not leave his safe little room and risk getting hurt again. His bed was his best friend. He didn't want to let it go.

He heard some kind of jingling sound from outside, and then the handle was being turned, and the next thing he knew the door was thrust open and the man came inside, intruded on his personal space. His heart skipped a beat as he was then stripped of his warm blanket, thus exposing him to the slightly-cool air that felt frigid to him. The staff took it a step too far when he grabbed his arm and forcibly dragged him out of bed. Instant panic flooded his system at the aggressiveness of the action, and he screamed at the top of his lungs.

"No, please! Let me go, I'll do anything! Just don't hurt me!" Yuri shook himself free of the other's grasp and dropped to the floor, doing his best to grovel at his feet. Such an over-the-top reaction startled the man, who just stood there confused while another staff member, Celestino, rushed in upon hearing the commotion. Celestino did not seem at all surprised to see the first man there, and just shook his head at him in a way that said _I'll deal with you later_.

Of course, he couldn't do that at the time since there was currently a trembling, grovelling Yuri at his feet.

"Hey there, Yuri. What happened?" he tried to reach him gently while extending a hand to him. It took a second for Yuri to look up and see the hand, but when he did his mind instantly screamed code red. With a speed considered almost inhuman, he sprang backwards and scurried away like a frightened animal into the corner, shaking and sweating.

Celestino muttered a curse and approached again, even slower than last time. The hand he attempted to reach him with was swatted away as Yuri yelled "Stay away from me!" and attempted a strike at the other two males. His hand met only empty air, as Celestino had enough sense to get out of the way in time.

He didn't want to have to do this, but Yuri was becoming increasingly aggressive and unstable, and a threat to their wellbeing and his own. Inwardly sighing, he grabbed the tag around his neck and pressed a button on it. In moments, a voice over the loudspeaker announced _Code white. Second floor, room 215._ And not very long after that came the requested backup, which filed in one after the other. Four restrained the kicking and screaming Yuri, one for each limb, while a fifth produced a needle containing a powerful sedative. At the sight of said needle, Yuri's eyes widened and he struggled more fiercely. That, though, proved fruitless, as the staffs' grip on him was strong.

"Please… D-Don't…" Yuri pled through his panicked hiccups and tears. He tried to shy away from the needle as it inched closer to his arm. He turned his head away and tensed under the strong hands of the nurses, his eyes shut tight as he could. "Please… Please…" he repeated like a mantra.

The nurse did not listen to his begging and let the needle enter his arm. Yuri let out a harsh, heart-wrenching cry when the sharp metal pierced his skin and a series of broken whines as the sedative began to take effect. He gradually ceased struggling against the hands pinning him to the floor. As his vision blurred and sleep began to overtake him, he thought he saw another figure with silver hair and a concerned face approach. With his last reserves of strength, he moaned a sad "Vikutoru…" before sleep finally claimed him.

As Celestino hefted the unconscious Yuri onto the bed and tucked him in, he glanced viciously at the first staff member who started the whole mess in the first place and seethed "I don't know what you did, but this will have to be reported to Lilia. I expect a full reprimand from her to you."

Then he left, and the man, his head bowed, followed.

…

A tall, moderately-wrinkled woman with short brunette hair tied in a tight bun and piercing emerald eyes sat at her desk cross-legged, sporting a permanent scowl while she browsed through the employee reports. Her cursor hovered over one in particular, that of one of the best therapists in the hospital. A small "Hmph" was the only outward sign of approval she showed as she read the report.

 **Name: Viktor Nikiforov**

 **Position: Inpatient Therapist**

 **Employee #: 42**

 **Notes:** _ **An exceptional therapist, Mr. Nikiforov has shown expertise in the face of a challenge and come out unscathed. Viktor's primary patient, Yuri Katsuki, was admitted into his care one day prior, so we are anticipating the outcome of his therapy.**_

 _ **His methods of calming patient Katsuki are observed to be somewhat unorthodox. However, no other alternative has been discovered to be effective...**_

A knock at her office door directed her attention away from the computer. She called out a simple "Come in" to permit access for the three men who then entered. One of them, who she knew to be Celestino, led the other two, being Viktor and another who she knew too well at this point.

"Francis, why am I not surprised to see you here." It was not a question. Exasperated, she motioned for the three to sit while she busied herself organizing some things on her desk. They did as was implied to them and while Francis sat uneasily, Viktor and Celestino were seated quietly.

When her things were as neat as they would get, she settled in front of them and waited. When no one would start, she prompted them with an impatient "Well?"

Celestino flinched and cleared his throat. "Lilia-er, Madam Baranovskaya, we had an issue this morning concerning the patient Yuri Katsuki."

Lilia shook her head, not minding the minor slip up. "Cialdini, there are at least three issues a day in this hospital, so I might ask you to be more specific. Maybe tell me why a code white was called?" She turned a bit towards Viktor. "And perhaps tell me why you are in here, Mr. Nikiforov?"

"As Yuri's primary therapist, I reserve the right to be present in any and all meetings concerning him," he answered smoothly. Lilia nodded once.

"Fair. Now, might I ask what you two are doing here specifically?" Back to the others, and this time Celestino had a response prepared.

"Yes, well, this morning, according to Francis, Yuri refused to get out of bed both times he called. So, acting on duty, he entered the room to get him up. However, the manner in which he did so was uncalled for."

"For God's sake, get to the point," she sighed.

Celestino was unfazed by her rude demeanor. "He apparently grabbed Yuri's arm and forcibly dragged him out of bed, causing a panic attack. We don't know what exactly triggered it, but what we do know is that afterwards he became frightened and aggressive, and a code white had to be ordered to restrain and sedate him."

Viktor tried to hide his surprise at the story. Francis averted his gaze, and Lilia nodded thoughtfully.

"Can he be called in right now?" she asked, but Celestino shook his head negative.

"He is still sleeping."

The woman stood and paced around the room, a hand to her chin and her other arm behind her back. "Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Viktor, reschedule your appointment with Katsuki for later today. Celestino, be sure to check on him when he wakes."

Both men assented easily.

"And Francis," she continued with an accusing finger pointed his way, "I understand you are going through some hard times right now, but you must remember to practice control. If you fail to do so, I will have no choice but to relieve you of your position. Understood?"

Francis bit his tongue and nodded.

"Good. You may go now." She waved a dismissing hand in their general direction. Taking the cue, they filed out of the small office space and went their separate ways. As Celestino was leaving, however, Lilia stopped him.

"Celestino, I need to ask you something."

"Yes?" Now he was turned around once more. Baranovskaya thought for a second.

"Has Katsuki been tested for PTSD?"

Celestino shook his head. "No, Madam. He has not. Should I proceed with tests?"

"That would be best. But not until after his session with Viktor."

The man nodded his affirmation and left, the door closing with a soft click behind him.

…

Viktor sat at his own desk reviewing reports on his patients when Celestino entered, his face serious. The moment their gazes locked, Viktor knew what this was about. Celestino invited himself to sit down while the silver one patiently waited.

"So," the dragon man started casually, "why exactly were you at that meeting?"

"I already said. I was there because Yuri is my patient."

"So I heard. But surely that's not all?" He absentmindedly examined his fingernails while his other arm was draped over the back of the chair and his legs were crossed, feigning disinterest. Viktor knew the trick, and was not falling for it.

"Yes, that's all. Now, if that's all you wanted to say, then might I ask you to leave? I'm quite busy right now."

Celestino smiled a devilish smile and raised his hands eye level. "Oh, of course. I wouldn't want to keep you from your work. But, Vitya," He leaned in close to Viktor's ear and let his voice dance around it as he spoke. "We've been friends for years. You can tell me anything...if you have anything to say."

Viktor backed away calmly. "I'll keep that in mind."

Smiling warmly, Celestino's expression softened, and with a pat on Viktor's shoulder, he left. Viktor shook his head and went back to the task of rescheduling.

…

Coming out of a drug-induced sleep was far different from waking from a natural slumber. Yuri whined as he slowly came around, feeling each of his senses reawaken one at a time. He could feel the beginning of a migraine forming and cursed the meager light in the room for existing as he burrowed under the covers as far as he could go. He was so inexplicably exhausted that _breathing_ seemed a chore. His muscles felt weak, and as a consequence he could hardly move.

In short, he currently hated life.

What had happened, anyway? Why was he so sluggish? Was he really so weak that he couldn't wake up properly anymore? And where was Viktor? Had he abandoned him, just like everyone else? Was he truly so hopeless that even the best therapist in the building couldn't help him?

Would he have to stay forever?

He was drawn from his self-destructive train of thought when a light knock sounded from the other side of the door. With what little strength he currently had, he groaned a pathetic "Come in". The door was shortly thereafter unlocked and opened, revealing his counselor, who wore a relieved grin.

"Yuri, I'm glad you are awake. How are you feeling?"

"Like a train hit my head and stunned me numb." He paused to catch his breath, having tired himself. "Where am I…?"

"You're in your room, Yuri," Celestino answered and sat on the edge of the bed. He could see the confusion written like a novel across his face as he took in his surroundings.

"This isn't…" He did not finish the thought before everything clicked into place. He was in his room at the mental hospital. That's what the man meant. And...that morning, the stranger came into his room, and then…

He shot up faster than Celestino thought would be possible, and he scanned the room, new panic flooding his system. "Wait! That guy, he's-"

"Not in here anymore," he finished before the young male could spiral downward into the pit of his anxiety. Yuri looked at him with wide, fearful eyes at his counselor, earning him a hand on his shoulder. "He was given a reprimand for what he did to you. It won't happen again."

It was nice that Celestino did not say "It _shouldn't_ happen again". Yuri found comfort in the surety of the statement. He always did hate indecisiveness.

"Yuri," Celestino started after a long pause, "I need to know something."

"Y-Yes?" Now Yuri was nervous again.

"What exactly is the nature of yours and Viktor's relationship?"

The question seemed to come from nowhere. Just a second ago they were talking about that staff who caused him a panic attack, and now he was being asked what he thought of his therapist? How was he, an anxious mess who can't even control his own mental state, supposed to know that? And why was Celestino even asking? Needless to say, it took him a minute to process the question, and even longer to form a coherent reply.

"U-Um… Well… He-He's really n-nice. A-And he knows h-how to...to help...me… I-I-I think I can tr-trust him…" Too much stuttering. Far too nervous. His heart was beating too fast again. He held his arms close to himself in shame. Celestino seemed satisfied with his answer and let the subject go with one final comment.

"Well, alright. But if, in the future, you find yourself thinking... _differently_ , let me know. I've seen how you are around him."

 _How he is around him_? What was _that_ supposed to mean? He had no idea. But Celestino was nice. Celestino was smart. Yuri could trust him. As the man left, he turned back around one last time and said "Oh, and by the way, Viktor wanted me to tell you that your meeting with him has been moved to two o'clock. I will come get you at that time."

"O-Okay, thank you," Yuri called back as the large figure disappeared. The second the door shut, Yuri flipped over onto his side and pressed a hand to his chest, feeling his heart thudding madly through his shirt. Just the thought of seeing Viktor made him both excited and anxious. Viktor looked _godly_ in his eyes, and acted even more so. His lips were so full and beautiful and soft looking, and his _thighs_ …

He didn't know how to think. He didn't know how to feel. All he knew was that he was beginning to feel a strange urge that he has never felt before. Combined with a tightness in his pants and his entire body growing hot, it was both heaven and hell for him. He needed relief. He needed a shower.

After getting a staff member to open the bathroom for him, he rushed inside and shut and locked the door, just to be safe. He shed his clothes and stepped under the water, allowing it to soak his body. He couldn't stop thinking about Viktor, how smooth and almost sultry his voice was as it caressed his ears, how his lips so perfectly moved to form the words. How absolutely delicious they looked. He could imagine kissing them, sucking on them, nipping them.

His hardened length throbbed in approval at the fantasy, as if it were beckoning him to continue. As he grabbed himself and hesitantly stroked once up and down the shaft, sparks of pleasure shot through him, grabbing hold of his vocal cords and releasing a high, needy moan from him.

He couldn't stop. He thought of Viktor straddling him in the bed, teasing him and suckling his nipples, grinding their crotches together, Viktor moaning in time with Yuri's heavy breaths as he drew out every last ounce of desire from him and turned it into white hot passion.

He shouldn't be thinking of his therapist like this, and he knows it. But the thought of Viktor pounding into him made him weak. It made him want more.

His hand stuttered in its movements for a second, then picked up double speed. He tried to conceal his wanting moans and whimpers, but it was impossible to keep them all in. He dropped to his knees when standing became too much and braced himself on the floor with his other hand. His entire body was shaking and his breathing grew heavier as he neared his climax. What did him in was the thought of being on his knees in front of Viktor, licking his hard member and completely engulfing it, letting his throat take in the entire length. He imagined just how big it must be, for someone so carefree with charm as he. Surely it would fill his mouth completely, maybe even hit the back of his throat. Maybe it was even too big, and the remainder would have to be stroked.

With a stuttered cry poorly muffled by the hand that was holding him up, he shot into his hand and on the side of the shower. Semen coated his fingers and the floor and wall, and was quickly washed away by the water. He was a gasping, trembling mess after he rode out his orgasm, face and chest dusted red. He took a minute to compose himself, then rinsed off and climbed out. He dressed and fell into the mattress, hugging his pillow close to him as if it were Viktor and dozing off, sated and content.

…

All the nervous energy that had been released in the shower came back all at once as he stepped into Viktor's office. Yuri felt his pulse gaining speed, his palms were shaking and sweating, and his breathing was becoming erratic. Viktor was waiting for him and greeted him warmly when he knocked on the door.

"Ah, Yuri! Come in, come in," he ushered gently. He pointed to the couch which sat across from his desk. "Go ahead and sit there for me, okay?"

Yuri nodded slowly and guided his body to the seat. He sat straight and refused to look Viktor in the eye. Viktor studied his body language silently and made some notes, which just made the younger even more nervous. Viktor stopped writing when Yuri's leg started anxiously bouncing. He was tense, a sheen of sweat formed on his fair skin, his eyes darted everywhere except towards Viktor, and he seemed to be trying too hard to breathe normally. With a worried furrow of his brows, Viktor tried to help.

"Don't be afraid, Yuri. We're just going to take it nice and slow today, just get to know each other officially. Are you okay with this?" It was always a good tactic for a therapist to ask his patient's permission before going on, especially one with anxiety like Yuri. It helped establish trust in the relationship.

Yuri seemed to ponder the request, if the ceasing of his bouncing leg and nervous glancing said anything.

"O-Okay," came the quiet reply. He pulled his knees up tight to his chest and hid his face behind them, except for his eyes, which peeked up to meet his gaze. It was almost adorable, if not for the fear that lay behind those shimmering brown oceans.

"Right," Viktor started, pen and pad at the ready, "so, Yuri, can you tell me a little about yourself? I would love to know about you."

But Yuri didn't want to talk about himself. Rather, he didn't want to talk at all. Viktor waited patiently for his answer with what Yuri guessed was his signature smile, a grin that barely reached his eyes. It was...cute, the way he smiled. He had a sort of adult childishness about him that set him apart from the rest of the therapists. It was a comforting little smirk.

Yuri lost himself in those light, sea blue eyes. They were something like the color of the ocean after a storm, caught in the light of day through the parting clouds. It reminded him of home, when he would go to the beach near his onsen and just walk along the shoreline admiring the beauty of outside. How that hue could be naturally ingrained into the irises was unknown to him, but those were the best he had ever seen. He just wanted to forget the world altogether if it meant he could stay in that one instead.

Viktor noted in confusion the far-off, dreamy expression Yuri had taken on since he asked his question. He was staring directly at Viktor, yet also past him into some realm unknown. This was probably the first time he had ever seen Yuri with a look devoid of anxiety or worry. The dark shadow that lingered just behind those eyes of his seemed to have receded in the time they were together in the small office. His posture was also slackened considerably.

"Yuri?" Viktor called, hoping to get his attention. Just like that, Yuri's eyes snapped back into focus with a confused blink.

"Huh…?" His brain had yet to catch up, too focused on Viktor's eyes and how they enthralled him without trying. Then his thoughts finally went back to the fact that he was sitting in Viktor's office just _staring_ at him like an obsessed freak. His demeanor did a complete 180, changing from relaxed and enchanted to anxious and overly apologetic. "Oh…! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to stare, it's just…"

Viktor's laugh cut him off. "No, no. Don't worry, Yuri. Not a day goes by where a patient doesn't stare at me." He added a wink at the end, making it sound far more suggestive than he probably intended. Yuri spluttered and blushed madly, brain cells now officially fried. Yuri shot up and rushed out the door with "I-I have to go!"

Viktor tried to call after him, but he was gone.

…

Yuri flopped down onto his bed, mortified by the way things turned out, and hid himself under the blanket. His embarrassed thoughts clouded his mind and clogged his head with insecurities. Everything came crashing down onto him full force, turning into voices berating him for simply existing.

 _Now look what you did!_

 _You're a failure!_

 _Everyone hates you!_

The voices turned to shouts and screams, and he couldn't stop them. He couldn't silence his anxiety.

 _Viktor can't help you!_

 _You'll be stuck here forever!_

 _Just give up!_

The sobs that wracked his body turned to screaming. He shut his eyes tight and covered his ears to silence the voices. All it did was trap them and make them shout louder. He curled up tightly and shook as he tried to ride it out.

His cries could be heard down the hall, all the way to where Viktor was heading in his direction. Upon witnessing the heartbroken sounds Yuri made, Viktor could feel a glass spike drill into his chest and make his emotions bleed. He could not bear to let him carry on like this. He had to get to him and help!

On the outside, nobody would notice his turmoil, as years in the field strengthened his resolve and steeled his face against the harsh slap of hurt. The only real sign of his internal struggle was his hurried footsteps.

He did not knock on the door. Instead, he grabbed his key and unlocked it, pushing it open quietly. Peering inside, he caught a glimpse of raven hair on the bed before it moved and was obscured by the blanket. The brown cover rose and fell irregularly with Yuri's breathing, and stilled when Yuri heard Viktor walk up to him. The bed dipped as Viktor sat at its edge. Laying a hand over the sheet, he did not say anything, preferring instead to let Yuri find the words he needed on his own.

After a moment filled with only the sounds of their breathing and Yuri's sniffles, Viktor finally had enough of staring at a mound of blanket and carefully, so as not to startle him, peeled it away from the young man's face. Yuri stayed the way he was and did not look Viktor in the eye or speak to him. He was embarrassed enough as it was for having run out like that. Now he had to deal with the painful aftermath, featuring agonizing silence and thick atmosphere.

Yuri seemed to be in between waves of anxiety, in the period in which his thoughts died down a bit and his screaming halted for a set time. It was only a matter of minutes before he entered the next wave, so Viktor moved to act beforehand. Ever so gently, he rolled him over so he lay flat on his back. Yuri blinked in puzzlement as this happened, unsure of the situation. He was surely unsettled by the lack of information, as shown in the way he resisted movement and whined when he was adjusted against his will.

"It's okay, Yuri. You're safe here," Viktor crooned while carding his fingers through his hair. He realized that such intimate contact, along with his other methods of calming him, were forbidden between therapist and patient. But there was something about the anxious boy, some innate charm, that made Viktor unable to resist. And since it seemed to help Yuri, to be held and reassured, he would continue to do so...as long as he wasn't caught by someone who would report him.

The only person who has witnessed their encounters is Celestino, but they have been friends for years. He could be trusted. Not with knowledge of an actual relationship, which they did not have, but the man would never divulge something so trivial as a tender touch or two.

Viktor was fully prepared to just stay by his side and comfort him as best he could. What he did not expect, however, was for Yuri to dive forward into his arms, screaming and sobbing into his chest. Viktor was stunned for a split second as Yuri grabbed onto his shirt and clung to it with everything he had and hid his face in the fabric. Viktor's expression softened as Yuri kept shouting "I wanna go home!" into the obstruction covering his face.

"Yuri," Viktor murmured, (barely) resisting the urge to nest his face into Yuri's untamed locks, "I want this place to feel like home to you. As long as you are here, you'll be treated like family." He paused to discreetly breathe the scent of Yuri's hair, savoring its sweetness. "Think of everyone here like your family. I can even be like a parent, if you want. All I want is for you to feel safe."

There was a long, tense moment of silence that hung suspensefully in the room, accompanied with their breathing and the raven's sniffs. Then, finally, Yuri peeked up from Viktor's chest. He whispered something unintelligible, so Viktor had to lean closer and ask "What was that?"

Yuri's cheeks burned slightly. "Vikutoru, I don't…I don't want you to be a parent. I just w-want you to be y-yourself…"

Viktor didn't know what to say. In all his years, he had never had anyone say that to him. He was always told to live up to a certain standard, to be a certain person, and any less was unacceptable. Yet here was a patient at a psychiatric hospital telling him to just be himself. It warmed him up knowing somebody looked at him and saw him for who he was, not what he was or could be.

Finally finding his voice, he gently pulled Yuri back so he could see his tear-tracked face. Yuri gazed back at him as if expecting something, his eyes glimmering in anticipation. Barely above a whisper, Viktor said "I'll do my best." and, out of pure impulse, embraced him one last time. Yuri, after a moment of shock, accepted the hug, although he did not reciprocate.

Viktor pulled him back then, and said to him "But you must promise me something."

"W-What is it?"

The therapist's gaze grew hard. "You must promise you will share everything with me. Don't lie, and don't withhold information, and please don't run away again. Can you do that for me?"

Yuri felt his heart nervously skip as Viktor spoke. "I-I don't know if I c-can…"

"Then, will you let me help you?" There was a look in Viktor's eyes that melted the ice encasing Yuri's heart and preventing him from feeling any more than he currently did. A grand smile brightened his tearful countenance and, in effect, lightened the air they breathed. Viktor wished then that he could take a photo and save that moment forever. It was the largest, most genuinely happy smile he had seen Yuri wear. He wanted to see more of that smile, he would make it a personal goal.

"Y-Yes! Okay!" He launched himself into Viktor's powerful body, then, savoring the feel of his skin against his own. It was grounding. Definite. Worry-free. The scent of strawberry even more so.

Viktor observed the scene unfolded before him and made a mental note of the situation. He found that Yuri opened up in the safe atmosphere of his room more than he had in the therapy room. He was even quite affectionate when he wanted to be. Whether because of Viktor or just Yuri's personality, he did not know. All he knew was he craved this side of Yuri. He wanted more.

But there was the conflict: he was already overstepping the boundary of the therapist/patient relationship. He had been since day one. And Celestino knew. It was a blessing from the heavens that he hadn't been reported yet. What would happen if someone who didn't like him reported the incident? He would surely be fired, and therefore would not be able to help Yuri.

He took a deep breath to silence his anxious mind and came instead to the conclusion that he would need to be more careful. For the moment, however, there was a certain Yuri currently snuggled into him. He decided to focus on that.

He inhaled the scent of rich dark chocolate and savored its sweetness. How was it possible to have a scent like that? Maybe it was a cologne he was wearing. Did he wear cologne? Maybe he could get Yuri some as a gift someday. With a box of sweets, and a candlelight dinner at a fancy restaurant…

He was getting ahead of himself. Firstly, he would need to have Yuri treated. But for the time being, he would enjoy the moment he had with him.

He could have stayed like this forever, but a voice over the loudspeaker called _Code blue. Third floor, room 347._

"Shit! Yuri, I have to go, I'm sorry. I'll schedule a session for as soon as I can." Viktor then bolted up from his spot on the mattress and rushed out of the room, leaving Yuri to wonder what just happened.

He was still learning what the different codes meant. All he knew was a code white was for aggression. So what did blue mean?

Sighing, he resolved to ask Viktor later, in the next session. Whenever that would be.

…

The next group session was two days later. Everyone was gathered in the group therapy room, some waiting for Viktor, others waiting for it to end, and a few others politely minding their own business. Yuri was seen sitting in the back corner of the room, knees drawn to his chest. If there was one thing he was good at, it was hiding from people. He never wanted to be in anyone's way, nor did he want to pick a fight, or even socialize in general. He was perfectly content sitting in the shaded corner of his small world, swaddled securely in his blanket.

It was a special covering to him that he had been allowed to bring from home. A muted blue gravity blanket, filled with special weighted beads that made it heavy. Not too much as to smother him, but enough to make him feel more secure. Like someone was holding him. So long as he was wrapped up in it, he felt he could take on the dreaded group therapy.

Viktor, sporting a white top and black pants, entered then, his optimistic smile and freshly combed hair being what stood out to Yuri the most. He took his seat cross-legged on the carpet, and everyone else took that as their cue to form the circle. Yuri stayed right where he was.

"Alright, is everybody here?" Viktor began, cheerful as ever. Everyone was silent, save for Phichit, who anxiously rocked in his place, just containing his energy.

"Hey, where's the fatass?" Yurio commented as if as a last thought. Viktor shot him a look of disapproval.

"Is that really any way to talk about someone?"

"What? It's true," Yurio answered while stretching and placing his hands behind his head, "that other kid's a pig, ya know?"

"That's about enough out of you, Yurio!" he snapped. Yurio was not the slightest bit concerned by the tone Viktor had adopted. He was pretty used to it.

"Yeah, whatever."

In the background, a small whimper of fear escaped Yuri, drawing the attention of the older man. Viktor stood and approached Yuri, shushing the circle on the way. He crouched down and looked Yuri in the eye.

"Yuri, what's wrong? Why are you back here?"

"I-I'm scared, Viktor…" Yuri's voice trembled as he spoke. "I-I don't want to...to go o-over there. Wh-What if I get beat up again?" He held the blanket closer and curled in further on himself.

Oh, how Viktor wanted to just hug him and chase away the dark clouds of terror in the young man's mind! But doing so would jeopardize his job, and in effect, Yuri himself. So he had to settle for grabbing his hands and holding them in his own larger ones. Looking into brown eyes blown wide with fear, he flashed his most persuasive smile, attempting to placate him.

"I will not let that happen, I promise. How about you sit right next to me? Does that sound good?" He gave Yuri's hands an affectionate squeeze, effectively halting the anxious tremor in his fingers.

Yuri was about to break down in tears, he felt it. But he also felt an unsettling ease, just being around Viktor. He stared down at their clasped hands and contemplated the therapist's request. Maybe if he were next to him, Yurio couldn't attack him. Maybe he would be safe.

Newly resolved, Yuri nodded. Viktor helped support him as he stood when his legs wobbled unsteadily. Yuri smiled his tiny smile and proceeded to take his place at the head of the circle, right next to Viktor, still wrapped in his blanket.

Maybe he was just imagining it, but Viktor swore he felt his face heat up with Yuri's grin.

"Okay!" Viktor boomed, his voice carrying easily in the small room. "Welcome back, everyone. I'm glad to see everyone here today! Now, I know last time we were here we had to cut our time short. But I am confident that today will go smoothly. So…" He reached behind him and procured a colored foam ball, each hued square having a different set of words on it. "Let's play a game to break the ice a bit, okay? I will throw one person the ball, and they have to answer the question their left thumb lands on. Then they pass it to someone else, and so on. Are we ready?" He tossed the ball across the room, and someone, Mila, gazed curiously at the spot her thumb landed on as she snatched it out of the air.

"'Favorite color', huh? I'd have to say black. Black goes with everything." She seemed disinterested in the whole ordeal as she then carelessly threw it to someone else. This time, a boy of deep brown caught it.

"Pets? I have lots of them! I have two cats named Zora and Berry, a dog named Fang, three birds named…"

The boy carried on and on about the multitude of animals he had, the sudden influx of information dizzying Yuri's already-frazzled mind. Viktor had to cut him off when he began to go into a distant relative's chickens. Dejected, he passed the ball on to Yurio. He caught it with his left hand and looked with his one uncovered emerald eye at the threatening blue square.

"Hah? What are my future goals? What kind of deep shit is this?" He glared viciously at Viktor, who only gestured him on with a smile and a movement of his hand. Yurio's eyes narrowed to piercing slits.

"I just wanna get the fuck out of here, that's my goal! I want my life to get back to before I was shoved into this hellhole! That good enough for ya?!"

Yurio, his face flaring with the rage he felt, turned suddenly on Yuri. Yuri quaked as the teen raised the ball, intending to hit him with it, and subtly shrunk into the doctor when he was deemed ready to pelt him with it.

But before that happened, Yurio's face softened. The heat in his cheeks died down slightly when he witnessed the reaction he got from the anxious boy. Offhandedly, he turned away, mumbled something along the lines of "You're not worth it", and threw the ball his direction.

Yuri almost missed catching it, but when he did he wished he hadn't. Not only did the blanket fall from his shoulders, leaving him vulnerable, but the spot he landed on was the last question he wanted to answer. It was just his luck that he would have the worst luck of the draw.

" C-Crush…?" His face paled and his breathing crawled up in speed. He anxiously glanced at Viktor, then the circle, then back to Viktor, the ball, and lastly, Viktor.

 _You._

 _You're my crush._

He couldn't say it aloud. Doing so would basically admit what he had done in the shower. Doing so would lay his heart out for Viktor to tamp into the dirt. Doing so would chase Viktor away, leaving poor, weak Yuri to suffer alone in this unfriendly world.

Breath stuttering as he formed the words, he quickly squeaked out a pathetic "I-I don't want to talk about it!" He threw the ball in some odd direction, pulled his blanket back up to his shoulders, and curled himself up into the tightest possible ball, eager to be done so he could shut himself away from the world again.

…

Viktor, thoroughly beaten by the events of the day, retired to his office. He all but collapsed into his chair, sighing as he sank into its embrace. Having to deal with dozens of mentally sick teens and adults on a daily basis took its toll on his body and mind. On top of all that, a code blue was called, and those were among the most stressful.

And exhausting.

Despite this fact, however, he still found his thoughts wandering to Yuri. The very thought of the cute boy with slightly chubby cheeks and blue-rimmed glasses made his heart pound in a way he had not experienced in years. In fact, when he thought about it, the last time he felt affection for anyone was over ten years ago, when he was still a naive teenager who had no idea of the concept, of the sheer complexity of love.

He had to wonder why Yuri couldn't answer the question he was given. Was something wrong? Did he have a crush who rejected him? He sympathised with him on that if it were the case. He had been turned down many times throughout his life. One would think he would be desensitized to it after so many times, but the truth was, he wasn't. Each rejection stung as painfully as the last.

It could be that he had his heart set on someone in the group, but could not bring himself to admit it. Perhaps he should bring it up in their next session together. If it meant Yuri would find happiness, Viktor was willing to sacrifice his own affection. Because that's what true love is: sacrificing one's own needs and desires for the benefit of a loved one.

He felt saddened by the thought of giving up Yuri, but he would try.

With that thought lingering in his head, he packed up and went home for the night.

…

Yuri tossed and turned in his fitful sleep, unable to get more than an hour of sleep before he woke up screaming and clawing at his hair, then stopping when he realized none of what he had seen was real. Then, heart still hammering against his ribcage, he would lie awake and chase the comfort of slumber, only to have the same thing happen what seemed minutes later.

Each time he woke up, his shouting would alert a staff member, who would shine their obnoxious flashlight through the door and check in on him. And each time, he would call out something along the lines of "I'm fine!", although he knew not whether it was believable.

He was exhausted by morning, having not gotten any sleep. His head pounded with his pulse, and his gait was unsteady. Everyone who saw him only saw a pale face, trembling body, and dull eyes surrounded by dark circles. He tried his best to hide away from the other patients, but there was always at least one who would corner him and question his wellbeing. And again came the "I'm fine!", even less believable now that he was in broad daylight.

The constant line of questioning continued throughout the day, and it seemed that every time he chased one away two more would appear. He felt like breaking down every time someone came over to him. They should just mind their own business! Who cares about small, insignificant Yuri Katsuki? As far as he knew, they only paid attention to him out of pity, and the staff did so out of obligation.

The stress of being alive was taking its toll on him over the course of several hours; he seemed to worsen as time passed, until late afternoon when he was idly treading the hall, not having much of a mind to do anything else. He hadn't noticed someone walking towards him, distracted with whatever it was they were doing, until it was too late. They collided right into each other, both managing to catch themselves on time. Papers tumbled from the person's arms all over the floor, although Yuri did not pay much attention to that. He felt the world spinning around at a sickening pace as the person mumbled something that he would guess was an apology. Black spots clouded his hazy vision, and unconsciousness beckoned to him with open arms, ready to embrace his weakened body.

He didn't hear the person call his name before he collapsed on top of the pile of papers.


End file.
